Well, well, well, here it is. The end of another year.
I go through the same cycle every year – in January, time feels endless and slow, my year caught in quicksand. By December, I wonder where it all went, how quickly it passed by, and how close January is once again.
This was a year of change. I spent the first nine months in the van, exploring the Southeast, heading home, and charging out West. In mid-September, I called it quits on the full-time van life and settled into a home in Northern New Mexico overlooking Pueblo Peak.
In a few short days my business closes for the year and I have nearly two full weeks of vacation time. I’ll write some and reach a few books, perhaps dedicate one day to business strategy and one to goals for the new year, but most of my time will be spent in hibernation mode. I will leave for yoga and the grocery store and that’s it. I will make rich, hearty, slow-cooked meals and spend long hours watching the sun track through the branches of the apple tree.
Mammals are meant to hibernate. Pushing forward full steam ahead in the winter is contrary to our nature, especially when it gets dark before 5 pm. And yet many of us do not have a choice to slow down. If you do not, I hope you carve out a few hours for rotting over the holidays, letting the stillness sink into your bones knowing your body demands it, regardless of what your mind might say.
It is nearly the end of my day and I have not changed out of my pajamas. I am pushing forward fiercely for the next few days so I can rot even more fiercely. But gentleness with the self is always an option.
I had planned to write some big reflections on my year but in truth, I do not have any. This year, like last, demands distance, demands relief from constant analysis and scrutiny. I will have lessons and reflections on my transition from constant movement back into stillness, but they are not here yet. Perhaps my creative mind is going on strike until it gets some rest. Perhaps reflection takes more time and all things move slowly in winter. Perhaps it is a reminder that showing up is the victory, any output is secondary.
Instead, I’ve gone down memory lane and chosen (with much difficulty) some of my favorite photos from this year and my travels. Special mention must go to Gold Beach Oregon where I spent some of the most pleasant weeks in the entire van trip and to Taos, for catching me when I stopped moving.
From my home to yours, may you have a safe and warm holiday. Give thanks for what you have and give back wherever you can.
