Strain Review: Pineapple Pank

Product Name: Pineapple Pank Flower

Brand: Elevated Lounge DC

Category: Flower

Star rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Summary: an aromatic, dense flower that produces an intense cerebral high

About Pineapple Pank

Normally, I’m not one for exotic strains. I have nothing against them; they just tend to be more expensive and I’m a stoner on a budget.

But I got a killer deal on an eighth of Pineapple Pank from Elevated Lounge DC and I knew I had to try my hand at writing a strain review.

So here goes.

(This is your standard disclaimer that everyone’s endocannabinoid system is unique, and my experience will not necessarily reflect yours. Always start low and go slow with new products to avoid a bad reaction.)

I have two categories for THC flower: work weed and not work weed.

They’re pretty self-explanatory.

Work weed is weed that I can smoke and still get work done. It may be creative work like writing, physical tasks like cleaning the house, or admin work like cleaning out my inbox and billing clients. Work weed gets you elevated without stealing your focus away. You feel the effects, but they’re not overwhelming.

Not work weed is the opposite. It’s the kind of weed that gets you out of your head and into the clouds. It’s great for hiking, yoga, or Netflix and chill – but don’t try to focus too much. This Pineapple Pank from Elevated Lounge DC is decidedly not work weed.

The first thing you notice when you open the bag is the aroma. It’s a terp-rich strain with multiple layers – no dry grass here. The earthiness comes first, a scent like rich woods, followed by notes of orange citrus and a hint of floral. The sweetness of the orange balances the heaviness of the earth.

It’s a THC-dominant strain that didn’t list any additional minor cannabinoids. The bag labeled it as sativa, but strain names don’t mean much and they never guide my purchasing decision. I want to know THC percentages and terpene profiles. There was no COA with this strain (don’t come for me!) and no THC percentage, but I didn’t need lab testing to know that it was high. If I had to guess, I’d say it was between 25 – 27% THC.

I rolled this Pineapple Pank into joints, bowls, even one blunt, and it hit good and strong every time. It has a fruit-forward taste, full of orange sweetness. The earthy aroma doesn’t carry over into the flavor; it’s all citrus all day.

But what is the high like? Pleasant, but intense.

It was both a head and body high. It took me out of my head and quieted my thoughts, but it was an intense head-high feeling. It was lighter in my body, giving me a floating sensation in my limbs. It was a quiet, reflective high that worked as well for hiking as it did for meditation. It did make me a little spacy and prone to not finishing thoughts, but it made that funny too.

It was, to borrow a phrase from the wine industry, a dessert weed. The kind of rich, aromatic, and potent strain that is perfect for enjoying with friends after dinner or on a Friday night, but not something you’d want to sip on (or hit) on a Wednesday night.

Published by Jessica Reilly, Writer

Writer, cannabis aficionado, and poetry lover

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