I’m not one for resolutions. That’s hardly a radical opinion these days; many people have fallen out of love with the notion that you can simply resolve to change yourself on one arbitrary day and then do it. Science backs this up – most resolutions are quickly abandoned.
But I am one for challenges and this January, I set myself two of them: a Whole 30 and a 90-day smoke break. The idea was simple: my body, weary from many months on the road eating less-than-ideal foods, was in desperate need of a reset.
We are now 17 days into the month, the new year, and yes, into my challenges. The T-break goes hand-in-hand with a Whole 30: with the exception of medical patients, THC is not Whole 30-compliant. The extension of not smoking for a full 90 days was my own invention, born of a desire to course-correct my smoking habits, which have transitioned from supportive to habitual. It takes a long time to break a satisfying habit like smoking weed, which was why I wanted to challenge myself with a full 90-day reset.
Turns out, my body needed this break more than I realized. I’ve had ongoing stomach problems since mid-November that I first chalked up to a flare-up in my digestive system. But as the weeks wore on, it became clear that something was truly amiss and I needed medical help. The Whole 30 is an elimination diet that has significantly helped my symptoms of nausea and vomiting. I have a procedure in March that I will be put under for, and THC negatively impacts the effects of anesthetic. So, this break was timely.
It is not easy to abstain from something I love, be it bread or cannabis. But as my sister recently reminded me, pain is a message. If we refuse to listen, it will only intensify. I am halfway through my full system reset and I won’t lie – I’m eagerly awaiting the day I can eat rice again. It is not easy to do hard things. I miss peanut butter and bongs with the same intensity. But as anyone who has health problems can attest to, there comes a point where you would do anything to feel better. And I do feel better.
It is also, I know, good for me. Good for me to eat only whole foods, good for me to take a break from the crutch of smoking weed, good for me to sharpen the knife with challenges. I have felt at several points this month that I cannot be creative or truly relaxed without weed. This is not true, merely my brain trying to get me to deliver a quick fix – but it can feel true in the moment when I’m staring at a blank Word document or lying in Savasana with a racing mind.
I’ve made it a point to do all the things I would normally do with cannabis, without it. Hiking, yoga, creative writing, art, vegging on the couch, intimacy – the list goes on. I cannot spend the month moping and I cannot rewire my brain without revisiting things I love.
Even before I experienced these health problems, I was planning for this challenge. I’ve been planning for it since July of 2024, knowing even back then that my body was in need of a reset. Perhaps had I done it sooner, these problems wouldn’t have manifested with such intensity – but that is neither here nor there. The start of the year is an easy time to wrap your brain around changes in your routine, even if it is arbitrary and in opposition with the flow of Nature. Still, I see this as digging into my home in a way that winter is supportive of. Cooking nourishing foods for myself, moving gently and sitting my mind in silence, enjoying quiet activities at home – all of this is still in alignment with the pace of winter.
On the first day, 90 days without smoking seemed insurmountable. There are still moments where I wonder how I will make it to April without lighting up, or even to mid-March without THC. But the fact is I will, because I said I would.
Black-and-white rules are easier for the brain to follow. This is a cornerstone principle of Whole 30, that 100 to zero is actually easier than 100 to 75. Though my brain is not always on board, I know in my gut that this is what I need (ironic in that my gut has been my main source of health problems! But I digress.)
I will be reintroducing cannabinoids in February – specifically CBD, CBDa, CBG, and CBGa. There is an abundance of CB2 receptors in your digestive system, which are the receptors that CBG and CBD, to a lesser extent, bind with. Given the length of my break, my diet reset, and my symptoms, I am very curious to see how oral consumption of these cannabinoids affects my problems.
My goal for the smoke break was to develop a supportive cannabis routine that does not include combustion or THC and to make those factors more of a treat than a multiple-times-per-day activity. I do not know how it will go to reintroduce those, but I know better than to try to cross a bridge I have not come to.
It has been many weeks since I checked in here. In the meantime, I have been prioritizing my creative writing. It is my heart’s true desire to be an author, and this is the year I embrace that in full, vulnerability and all. This will still be a home for my cannabis reviews, site tours, and personal dumps – but more is coming. If I have it my way, my name will be in national publications by the end of the year, skills sharpened by the challenges I am digging into right now.
